{ Set them free.

Friday, August 18, 2006

{ freed on 16:47

today is a sad sad sad day for me...although i unofficially hafnt got any lessons today..by right i got the whole friday to do everything and anything that i want to do..but somehow somewhat things aint falling into place again...DEPRESSION!

once again i am feeling all gloomy and sad and upset and lonely..the kind of feeling that i have experienced during all my past school life..just back to my ice age periods where i will just hibernate and hide at home..my little yellow attic..is it me or is it the society..do i not know how to mingle and react to others? i dont understand how they feel or they dont understand how i feel..or did i expect too much already..

i am already sadden that mum's going beijing again..so soon..barely spending a week with her and she's flying off already...remembering the younger days when mum used to fly abroad and leaving me behind at home..all the tears and no wanting her to go..till now..nothing much has changed..all i can do is be a brave girl and send her to the airport and that she will have a safe trip..after that i can only wait for her return..

i was supposed to go swimming yesterday with my nuer..but with all the grocery shopping at sheng siong, plans were cancelled..maybe some other time..then i wanted to go swim today..but due to some unforeseen circumstances which had already lasted for a week..it happened again..now i am just hiding at home..

spent some time on friendster just now..read thru my past testimonials..kinda touching..remembering all the fun loving times that i spent with my friends..
jasper.kenny.lixin.wenyee.yeans.donut.nicholas.charles....the list goes on..
not that i onli remember those who wrote a testi for me..but the testi somehow does mean alot to me at this point in time..that i know that at some low point of my life they were there for me..
i remember spending afternoons with farhan at SR gallery watching soccer and chatting, all the gym practices i had with jenny and shu, the lame stuffs that i used to do at school..my forte of helping my jc gang..ah nei gaowei yang andrew yongxin jenny write their names on their notes..our stay backs at school train running and studying..my A to Z birthday banner from them..my PL band days..eugenia erin yean phil shiwei joyce juliana..all those instant bowl noodles that we eat at school's opposite mama shop..the exchange of gifts on children's day, friendship day..practically anyday is suitable for it..writing letters to each other..so many of them i hafnt met since i dont know when..mayb years..wenyee..has been my best buddy since pri 1..same class for 6 yrs, same sch for 10 yrs..we used to have same clothes but diff colour..going to each other's house to eat and play..but after i gone to jc i hafnt met up with her..sec sch..my tuition buddies..edle cara eileen esther..cooking maggie mee at out tutor's place..oogling at guys..haha..giving them nicknames too..so that they willn't be aware..it will be heaven if one day they do speak to u a word or 2..did i haf that privilege..well i think i did experience once..whaha..also not forgetting my 1st 3 months class..richmond teresa jasper peixian joanne peisi peishan yaoping..blah blah...all the funny times we had with mr yang..pool sessions after class..movies..

now we all like all scattered everywhere..keeping in touch is a difficulty..but still..i hope gatherings do get organised..some i know are already hard to be contacted..but thru friendster i see their pics i am glad that they ate all doing fine now..cheerios... (",)

i really miss all of them..all the moments spent together..thou short but unforgettable...all those sweet times and gifts exchanged..thinking of the past does make me think about whether had i changed since then..

to all my dearest friends:

please forgive me if i have ever upsetted u..or did something that have hurt u..dont leave me nor forsake me..ur have played an important role in my life..all the support and care and love..they mean alot to me..do take care where ever u are..