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♥ expectant .
i rock oh so much


♥ 2010 resolution .
dreams do come true

Setting up my own business, be more hardworking
Be a better partner to dear & a better brighter future
Be more homely
Exploring new countries; next up a Australia roadtrip!
Earning my keep
everywhere elso is also welcomed!!!

♥ whispery .
shout and live for once





♥ past .
instant time travel

May 2005
June 2005
July 2005
August 2005
September 2005
October 2005
November 2005
December 2005
January 2006
February 2006
March 2006
April 2006
May 2006
June 2006
July 2006
August 2006
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January 2010
February 2010
March 2010
April 2010
May 2010
June 2010
July 2010
August 2010
September 2010
November 2010

♥ adieu .
set them free

LITTLEYELLOWATTIC
eugenia
elna
fenella
weijing
mel nu-er
erin
andrew
xuan
teresa
yongxin


♥ credits .
thankyouverymuch

Designer: 01 02
Image: 03
Hosts: 04 05 06
Brushes: 07 08 09 10
Fonts: 11

Thursday, April 06, 2006
{ freed on 22:00

ever wondered...whether a furneral is a happy or sad event..
are u supposed to be happy for the dead bcos he/she has fulfilled all their wishes..had a happy life..did all that the wanted..had all that they wanted..or..
are u supposed to be sad..bcos u have lost that person forever already..having not cherished them when u had them by ur side..regretting all the wrongs that u have done to them..

i wonder..wad will my funeral be like..who will come see me for the last time before i vanish from this world..
i want to have many many sunflowers..african daisies by my side..i want everyone to be smiling and be happy for me bcos i have left this world..peacefully..
well i had almost everything i wanted..did almost everything that i wanted to do already..mayb only for not having cherished the people arnd me enough..
i wonder wads the purpose and my existance in this world..to bring joy or misery to the people closest to me..
i rather die first then to go thru the pain of losing my closest...although i am being selfish that they will have to go thru the pain of losing me..

each time i go to the hospital..during the check up somehow i wished that something would happen to me..then my loved ones will show more care for me..but then again..wads the point..
the 1st time i went for check up..doc said that mayb i have a tumour..when i went for TCM they told me i got a bum at the back of my head..thinking agn..is it a tumour..today i went to hospital agn..had abdominal xray..was in pain..doc said that i either have stones..or mayb its just nth much..had an injection to relieve pain..mayb i am abit sick in the mind..would like to go thru operations..yah i do fear..but then agn..if i am supposed to go..then its time to go..
anyway i am alright..under medication..

wondering..at which point of my life was i happiest..guess its when i am a baby..dun noe anything about this harsh world..when i grew up..i hated the kind of life that i have..hated everything that i gone thru..although part of growing up..but it was too harsh..mayb it affects me now..or mayb i am using it as an excuse to escape from realty now..i thot my JC life was my happiest..having a great group of frens..somehow i have lost them along the way..at SIM..i hated it alot..people just do hurtful things to me..am i that disliked..
am really happy with where i am now..was much cheerful..happy..loved..but i didnt know or didnt cherish the things n pple arnd me..i never wanted things to turn out this way..its all my own doings..i shldnt have been found when i was lost..

everyone has their own story..so who will be bothered about others..

i just want to sleep forever......